Dreams and Memories
by Matts-Girl1
Summary: Harm's thoughts on a special event. Written in first-person point-of-view. Another oldie from my website, reposted here. Originally written in 2000.


Title: Dreams and Memories

Author: Rorie

Classification: V (Harm's POV), R (implied H/Mac)

Spoilers: None that I can think of

Summary: Harm's thoughts on a special day.

Disclaimer: I don't own anyone that you would recognize... DPB, CBS, Paramount, BeliPro do. The song snippet is "Butterfly Kisses" by Bob Carlisle.

Notes: I purposely didn't include names for the characters, except those from the show. I've never written anything in 1st person POV before, so I hope this works. This is a stand-alone, but readers of "Because You Love Me" may recognize some elements.

* * *

I stand in a corner of the room and watch the activity around me. I've never seen this side of wedding preparations before. Of course, I've also never given my daughter away either.

I stare at the vision in white, enthralled, as the words to a song drift across my mind...

**~~She'll change her name today.  
****~~She'll make a promise,  
****~~And I'll give her away.  
****~~Standing in the bride room  
****~~Just staring at her.  
****~~She asked me what I'm thinking  
****~~And I said, I'm not sure,  
****~~I just feel like I'm losing my baby girl.  
****~~She leaned over and gave me  
****~~Butterfly kisses with her Mama there  
****~~Stickin' little white flowers all up in her hair.  
****~~Walk me down the aisle, Daddy, It's just about time.  
****~~Does my wedding dress look pretty, Daddy?  
****~~Daddy, don't cry.**

**~~Oh, with all that I've done wrong,  
****~~I must have done something right.  
****~~To deserve her love every morning  
****~~And butterfly kisses**

Only it's not her mother who's arranging the dress and veil. It's her "Aunt" Harriet. A tear snakes its way down my cheek, "Sarah, you should be here now." I whisper into the air, wondering if, perhaps, my bride hears me where ever she is now.

I turn back to the tableau before me. Harriet has stepped back to admire her handiwork. My daughter smiles softly as she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her younger sister exclaims that she's gorgeous, and I can't disagree. I watch the two of them. They're both so much like their mother; I have to catch my breath.

Harriet's daughter, heavenly in her rose-colored dress, drifts over to my side. "Are you okay, Uncle Harm?" she asks, concern filling her young eyes.

"I'm fine." I reply mechanically as I blink back the tears that are threatening. She glides back to the others. "Sarah, it's not fair." I whisper.

My mind drifts back in time to when my beautiful Sarah gave birth to the angel in white. Then to when she was joined by the vision in emerald. Next I wander to the day thirteen years ago when the bottom dropped out of my world. I don't linger there, though, choosing to skip forward to happier times... to when my baby announced she was getting married. A smile flits across my face as I remember that day. She was so nervous. I think she thought I would shoot her fiancé over the dinner table. He isn't good enough for her... no one is, but she loves him. And he knows that if he ever hurts her, I'll kill him. I smile again; at least he had the good sense not to follow in his father's footsteps. I wonder what Clay thought when his only son decided to become a Marine. I almost laugh at that thought... Sarah's influence. Well, lucky for Clay, his daughter has her heart set on becoming a spook.

Drifting some more I remember the trepidation Harriet had when she came to me and told me that my daughter had asked her to sit in as mother-of-the-bride. She was so worried that I wouldn't want her to, or that it would somehow dishonor Mac's memory. I remember the watery smile she gave me when I gave my blessing and assured her that Mac would be happy knowing that Harriet was there for her little girl on her special day.

I return to the present when the sounds of "The Portrait" from the movie, "Titanic," drift back to us. I smile; Sarah and I had used that music at our wedding, too. I watch as Harriet slips out to take her place in the front pew, and the bride's maids line up. First Harriet's daughter, then Clay's daughter start their walk up the aisle. They are followed by Admiral Chegwidden's granddaughter as flower girl. I smile, remembering my first meeting with her mother, Francesca. Then my youngest daughter, the maid-of-honor, starts up the aisle after hugging her sister and blowing me a kiss.

I step over to my little girl and lift her veil just enough to kiss her cheek. I offer her my arm, she takes it. As the music changes to Pachabel's _Canon in D_, she whispers, "Don't cry, Daddy." I can hear the tears in her own voice as the congregation stands and turns to watch us as we approach the altar.

Reaching the front, I place my baby's hand in her fiancé's. I choke out the "I do." when asked who gives her away. Then I turn to join Harriet in the front row, my mother sitting beside her.

As the ceremony begins, I barely hear the beautiful words of the vows my daughter and her husband recite. Instead, I am hearing the same words spoken by a different voice in an earlier time. I smile and turn to my right where I know, even though I can't see her, my Sarah is sitting watching our princess become someone's wife.

The reception is a blur. Everyone congratulates me on the ceremony. I dance with my princess, now a Marine's wife. I dance with my other daughter who keeps asking if I'm all right. I dance with Harriet, her daughter, Clay's daughter, his wife, and my mother, and a seemingly endless stream of well wishers. I appear to everyone to be enjoying myself. But the one I really want to be dancing with isn't here.

* * *

Finally, I am home in my own room. My younger daughter is staying at Harriet's tonight. I am alone.

Changing into sweats and a Naval Academy t-shirt, I slip into bed. I pull Sarah's pillow to me like I do every night when I pretend it's her there beside me.

"Hey, Flyboy, I think you owe me a dance." she says as she walks over to my bedside. "You danced with every woman there tonight. Now it's my turn." Sarah reaches down and tugs on my arm until I get out of bed. She leads me down the hallway and down the stairs to the living room. The stereo is playing and as we reach the room, "Because You Loved Me" begins.

"Remember this, Harm?" she asks as we begin to dance.

I nod. "Of course... our first dance as husband and wife." I murmur as I lean down to kiss her soft lips. It feels so good to be in her arms again.

We continue dancing until the song fades.

"You did good, Flyboy." she says, as she heads for the stairs. I hurry to follow her...

"Sarah!" I say as my eyes fly open and I sit up in my bed in the quiet room, clutching her pillow to my chest. "No, Sarah," I whisper, "You did good." I smile. "I love you, Marine."

"I love you, too, Sailor." her voice drifts through my mind as I lie back down and join her once again in my dreams.

~~Finis~~


End file.
